bruceb

I've had some really happy-making developments lately, most of which I've been sharing only with select folks. But this is a good time to do an update for the rest of the world.

A lead from anaka  led me to a counseling service here in Seattle that turns out to be just what I need for help with my psychological backlog. And a referral from them led me to a physicians service that will do the same for my physical health. In my first session at the latter, the nurse practitioner said that he was frankly surprised I haven't had a stroke yet, once he looked at my blood pressure and some other symptoms. I'm now on medication for hypertension, and waiting to hear the results of testing for diabetes and some other stuff, and about to contact some recommended vascular consultants for what's apparently bad circulatory problems in my chronically weak left leg.
 
Not to get melodramatic about this, but it looks like the chain of contacts Michelle set in motion has saved my life. Everyone who's happy to have me around, say some thanks to Michelle. :) 

Under the circumstances, I'm freshly appreciative also for the impulse of recent months to disengage from sources of stress and distraction. Expect me to do more of that as I see what else is coming up. There's going to be more testing and then new treatments, and also coming to terms with legacy. (For instance, I have to reevaluate symptoms I've thought of as indications of allergic reaction and see which of them were actually hypertension manifestations. And there'll be more of that.) Not to put too a fine a point on it, too, there's a lot of emotion involved in this—I'm accustomed to being sick and miserable, but not to having anything that is urgently life-threatening. That's a whole new mess to reckon with, and has had me in rather the emotional yo-yoing all by itself.

In this situation, I just do not need to spend any time or feeling at all on twits ranting about disliked games and movies in terms of rape, or expressing their unhappiness in terms of assault and battery, or whining about how requests to warn readers when their ventures into fiction contain things that tend to trigger memories of physical and mental trauma are eeeevul politically correct censorship, or any of that stuff. I'm sticking to people I find interesting and not alarming or revolting. But I'm drawing my boundaries really tight just right now, and if you notice me not responding to you, all it means right now is that I just didn't feel up to dealing with it, not that I think you are also one of those gratuitiously stupid and vile fools. I'm pulling back from things that would usually be fine, too, but that just aren't for me at the moment.

Despite the tone of some of this, I'm actually really glad to be getting good help, and I look forward to having more good news to report in weeks and months to come.